


Bird Song Silenced

by ajfessler



Series: Something of Worth [7]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Guilt, Guilty Sam, Hurt James "Rhodey" Rhodes, If You Squint - Freeform, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, POV Sam Wilson, Parent James Rhodes, Past Riley/Sam Wilson, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Science Experiments, Swearing, Title Has Nothing To Do With the Story, author just loved it too much to change it upon completion, well he's trying at least
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-15 17:23:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12325485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ajfessler/pseuds/ajfessler
Summary: "Nine years of his life had been sacrificed on the altar of saving Riley’s memory by saving those who made it home. Nine years of sleepless nights, of crappy shifts at a telecommerce conglomerate, and the hassle of scheduling his course work around working forty hours a week. Nine years just to miss the signs of mental deterioration in the people he worked and lived alongside."





	Bird Song Silenced

Nine years of his life had been sacrificed on the altar of saving Riley’s memory by saving those who made it home. Nine years of sleepless nights, of crappy shifts at a telecommerce conglomerate, and the hassle of scheduling his course work around working forty hours a week. Nine years just to miss the signs of mental deterioration in the people he worked and lived alongside. Nine years to miss Steve Rogers going off the deep end. To step back and let the man tear his friends and family apart. To help him. Nine years to sit around and do nothing while someone fell apart in front of him. 

All because Sam hadn’t wanted to be one more person who told Steve Rogers no man, you can’t do that. To be one more person to point out how Steve didn’t belong. To say things are different, you can’t do that anymore. Or things are different, you wouldn’t understand. Steve wasn’t dumb to start with and if anything the man was sharper than ever grasping concepts and social necessities with an ease that had left Sam flat footed from time to time. He hadn’t wanted to become one more name on the list of dissenters to alienate Steve Rogers in the 21st century. 

Except, Sam also hadn’t stopped to think like the doctor he was supposed to be, like the psychologist he’d spent nine years of his life becoming. He hadn’t considered just what waking up seventy years into the future with nothing and no one to call home could and would do to a man. And no matter what the world thought, Steve Rogers was just a man. A man who could be hurt, who could have his heart broken. Just a man, no matter how extraordinary. 

Looking back on things, Sam wasn’t really surprised by Steve’s obsession with Barnes. It was the last little living piece of the life that Steve desperately wanted back. He should have seen it, said something. Helped somehow to get Steve to move past the loss. Should have at least passed his concerns on to someone, to who ever had been issuing their missions. Something. 

Instead, he’d brushed it off, done the friend thing and supported Steve like he wasn’t qualified to pick the man’s brain apart and help him put it back together in a way that made sense. Ignored all the little signs that said Steve wasn’t okay. Wasn’t dealing with things in a healthy mature manner. Wasn’t dealing with them at all. 

It wasn’t like Sam didn’t know the anger, the helplessness, the frustration with the world that didn’t, wouldn’t, _couldn’t_ understand what they’d been through. No matter what decade. He’d been there himself after Riley, he’d talked countless others through it. Knew what it looked like on strangers so why hadn’t he been able to see it in Steve? Why hadn’t he been able to _see_ the desperation, the hopelessness, the listlessness, and lethargy?

Why hadn’t he seen the PTSD? 

Criminals Clint had called them. Thieves. And Sam couldn’t find an argument that held water to dispute the claim. He’d mooched off Stark like all the rest of them. Room and board, gear upgrades, Redwing. The list was long and detailed, and Sam hadn’t even bothered to say thanks. His mother would be appalled if she’d been speaking to him at all. That was just basic manners, basic courtesy.

Standing and pacing over to Rhodes’ window. The man had one hell of a view. Manicured gardens and a scrap of lawn where the nurses liked to do yoga. Sam shook his head. That had Tony Stark written all over it. Turning his back on the scene, Sam inventoried the room. Rhodes was in an assisted living home per his choice while he learned how to get around without the active use of his legs. Sam didn’t know how long the man had been there, long enough to be on a first name basis with the nursing staff. Long enough for them to side eye Sam whenever he showed up. 

A clunking noise, steady and even, was drawing nearer. Loud enough that Sam could hear it over the ambient noise of the place. Crossing his arms, Sam leaned against the window sill and let out a breath. Rhodes was returning to his room. They could start their weekly dance of simulated friendship. 

No matter how many times he watched, Rhodes move around in the braces that Tony Stark had designed it still impressed Sam. Even if he thought they looked more like torture devices than anything else. Rhodes wouldn’t tolerate any disrespect of the things, so Sam left them alone, even as it cheered him to see Rhodes walking. 

Pulling a smile on as Rhodes walked in the door, Sam restrained himself from offering to help. It was a sure fire way to piss the other man off. The only time Sam had tried was the only time he’d been forcefully kicked out of Rhodes room. Sam had been twitchy for weeks until he’d worked up the courage to go visit again. 

Rhodes voice broke him out of his musing as the man greeted tiredly, “Hey man, I wasn’t expecting you.”

Sam shrugged and gave his standard response, “Yeah, I was just in the area and thought I’d drop by and see how you were doing.” 

It was a well-worn routine by now. Rhodes even cracked a bit of a smile as he carefully stepped his way over to the bed and eased himself down on it. The grateful sigh that accompanied the motion tore at Sam’s heart. This was because of him. Clearing his throat, Sam asked, desperate for anything to talk about, “So, it’s good to see you up and about. When do you think you’ll get back in the suit? We’d love to have you up for some training at the Compound.”

Rhodes snorted in response. The sound full of contempt before laying back on his bed and saying, “Never man. Gotta have two good legs to pilot. Otherwise, your navigation is shit. Tony and me had War Machine out not too long ago to test it. Just confirmed what the numbers already said. The mechanicals can’t compensate for the loss of two legs. Worst flight ever, including piloting without an AI co-pilot.”

That, that felt like a gut check. And was definitely not the answer Sam was expecting. Where was Tony Stark and his miracle cure? With the ace up the sleeve to fix any problem? The innovation that no one could make work? Why wasn’t Stark pulling all the stops out for Rhodes? The guilt was creeping back in, around the shock and outrage. Sam shook his head, he didn’t know what was going on, for all he knew Stark had something in the works that would be a game changer for Rhodes. 

Sam looked away, staring at a handmade card of Iron Man saving War Machine. It was done in crayon but didn’t seem like a kid drawing. Sam saw enough of those going through fan mail. This looked more like a teenaged effort, and it piqued his curiosity. Rhodes sighed from his bed and asked, voice calm and sober, “Wilson, why are you here? Why do you keep showing up like you owe me something?” 

Sam barked a laugh, short and humorless, before he said, “Because I do? You took the hit meant for me, and now you’re paralyzed from the waist down. You know I spent years becoming a VA counselor? Got a Ph.D. and everything so I could work with veterans suffering PTSD and depression and adjustment disorder and every other psychological disorder you can think of just to miss it in the people closest to me. The people who could do the most damage on a global scale. And I just can’t stop thinking that if I’d taken that hit maybe things would have turned out just a little differently and we’d all be in a different, a better, place.” 

Sam looked up to find Rhodes staring at him with one eyebrow raised in contemplation before the man said, “I’ll tell you what I told Tony. 138 combat missions. That’s how many I’ve flown. Every one of them could have been my last, but I flew em. Got that Wilson? I make my own choices. This might be bad, but it could have been so much worse. And I’m not sorry I made that call, the one that you dodged. I’d do it all over the same if given a chance.” 

Sam nodded and crossed his arms over his chest before saying, “Sorry for saying you were playing both sides. That wasn’t fair of me.” 

Rhodes waved it away and said, “Not a thing man. I got it then, I get it now. Between a rock and a hard place with bad on one side and worse on the other. I’ll never cease to wonder what the fuck you were thinking, but it’s the past. Best to leave it there.” 

Shaking his head, amazed anew with Rhodes Sam just let it go. He could recognize an olive branch when it was presented. 

The snap of gum being cracked broke the silence and Sam got to witness Rhodes face lighting up with joy. Moments later a teenaged girl walked through the door of Rhodes’ room. Her skin was a shade lighter than Sam’s, hair pulled back in a puff dressed casually in a red t-shirt, black yoga pants with red stripes down the outside and a zip up hoodie in black and red. There was a backpack slung haphazardly over one shoulder and ear buds dangling from her ears.

She eyed him while dropping the bag and dropping gracelessly into a visitor's chair and snapping the gum once more. Presumably dismissing him, she yanked the earbuds out, and greeted, “Hi Dad.” 

Sam felt his jaw go slack in shock. Who knew that Rhodes had a daughter. A teenage girl, no less. Rhodes just grinned and said, “RiRi, this is Sam Wilson. I used to fly with him.”

She turned to slouch sideways in the chair to look him head on and asked, “This the dude who should be in bed instead of you?” 

Sam flinched, but before he could verify that yeah, he was that guy. Rhodes snapped, “It was an accident RiRi. Shit happens, you know that.” 

The hostile look didn’t cease, but RiRi did turn her attention back to Rhodes and started ignoring Sam. Shaking his head, Sam muttered, “Yeah, nice to meet you too RiRi.” 

He caught a smirk from Rhodes before RiRi demanded, “How’s Mom?” 

Sam leaned back to watch figuring that Rhodes would ask him to leave if his presence wasn’t wanted. 

Rhodes just waved a hand and said, “You know how Tony gets, you should call him sometimes. I’m betting he gets lonely up at the Compound with only Clint and Bruce to talk too.” 

RiRi snorted back, snapped her gum, and said, “Don’t forget about secret agent man.” Sam watched fascinated as she snapped the gum once more and asked, “Does he make friends with every man he fucks? Or just the extraordinary ones? Do you think he’d give me pointers? There’s this guy in my Chem class I’ve been trying to ask out and keep getting blown off.” 

Rhodes sighed and said, “I could give you pointers you know.” 

To which RiRi dramatically rolled her eyes and said, “Oh yes, the Air Force Colonel who hasn’t gotten laid since I was conceived. Try again, Dad.” 

Sam hid a smirk with his hand. He kinda liked this kid and had the feeling that she wouldn’t take shit from anyone no matter who they were. Sam watched as Rhodes pointed in RiRi’s direction and said, “Watch it, I’m still your parent for another two years.” 

RiRi shrugged to that as if the status of her guardianship wasn’t ever in question before she said, “I could join the Navy next year and be someone else’s problem you know.” 

Now Sam did snort, this time in amusement. Rhodes let out a put upon sigh and said, “Wilson save me from my genetically engineered spawn. She’s going to give me a heart attack from the sass.” 

Sam chuckled and said, “No can do man, I don’t get involved in family affairs. Especially not one as weird as this sounds to be.” 

He caught a smirk from RiRi and counted it as a win before the teen gave him a look and said, “This is how it happened, you see Dad and Mom went to a conference in Cancun, got a little too drunk, lost one too many articles of clothing and nine months later I popped out of a test tube like a good little science experiment.” 

Sam blinked, she didn’t sound upset about that, and then his brain caught back up to him. Frowning Sam asked, “And where does Tony Stark fall into this mess?” 

She flashed him a bright smile and said, snapping her gum, “He’s my Mom. I’m a little hazy on the details overall, but that’s their story, and they’ve always stuck to it.”

Sam shook his head again. Rhodes levered himself up into a sitting position before explaining, “It was a genetics conference, Tony and I got drunk, started arguing over the merits of the research and somewhere along the way Tony decides that he was going to prove the science wrong by artificially creating a viable child from two male donors. I’ve never been able to figure out the science that went into it but somehow the man succeeded, and I’ve had the privilege of watching this little peanut grow into a stunning young lady.”

Sam shook his head and said, “That defies biology.” 

Out of the corner of his eye, Sam saw RiRi nod sagely before saying, “That’s Mom for you, defying the laws of science because Tony Stark.” 

Sam looked at her and frown. Opened his mouth to retort and promptly closed it because really, that was a pretty fucking valid argument. He saw her smirk when he couldn’t come up with anything before she waved her hand elegantly and said, “Case and point.” 

Sam just shook his head and changed the topic, moving to pull out the other chair from the little dining table and sitting down, “So, RiRi what are you studying in school?” 

She glared at him and snidely remarked, “Oh goodie, the 'let's get to know each other' phase of the conversation. Whee.” She snapped her gum and said marking off points on her fingers, “I’m two semesters away from my Masters in bioengineering. Specializing in neural interfacing. I want to make prosthetics that work like real limbs. I build robots in my spare time and am a regular at my local battle bot competition. I’ve only lost twice, and Mom couldn’t be prouder of me even as Dad tries to subtly pressure me into less explosive pastimes. Yes, I’ve flown the Iron Man suit, yes I have my own, no I’m not allowed to fight crime, yes I have a curfew, and no I don’t drink. Both my parents were absolute on waiting until I’ve got my first Ph.D. before I experiment with things that might fry my brain.”

Sam turned a floored look on Rhodes only to see the man with his head down, shaking. Cutting a look back at RiRi, Sam was about to ask if everything was okay when Rhodes snorted and started laughing. Honest to god, frame shaking laughter. He couldn’t help but smile along even though he had no idea what the joke was and was pretty sure it was at his expense. 

Shifting his chair, Sam ignored the man who was supposed to set a good example and said, “I bet they are both super proud of you. I didn’t manage to get my Masters until I was thirty-one.” 

Instantly, Sam watched as RiRi’s entire demeanor changed from disgruntled teenager to over enthusiastic bordering on the edge of a sarcastic teenager. He waited warily for whatever RiRi was about to say, and she didn’t disappoint, “Gosh, Mr. Wilson that’s really great. Whatever did you do with it?” 

Sam just sighed as she fluttered her eyelashes at him. Rhodes put in his two cents from his place on the bed a moment later, “This is why you can’t get a date baby girl. You’ve got too much of your Mom in you and won’t tone it down when dealing with someone who is normal. Give the man a break, would ya? Not everyone can be a certified genius with doctorate level education under their belt before they can even drive.” 

Sam watched as RiRi just shrugged and said, “Other people should learn to keep up. You did for Tony, Aunt Pepper did for Tony so why shouldn’t I expect people to learn to keep up with me?” 

Sam smirked and asked, “Because you’re seventeen?” 

It got him a glare in return to which he, the mature adult in the room, stuck his tongue out in response. The gesture earning him an eye roll and yet another snap of gum in retaliation. Watching, Sam caught a look between Rhodes and RiRi, one that held a wealth of meaning and suddenly he felt like an intruder. Standing, Sam announced, “I’ve got to head out. It was nice meeting you RiRi, and Rhodes I’ll stop by next week to see how you’re doing.”

He ended the sentence with an upward inflection and a raised eyebrow. A question: do you want me to come back? Rhodes just smiled and returned, “Thanks, stop by anytime. If I’m not in the gate warden will let you know.” 

Sam smiled and made his way out of the room. Halfway down the hall, he heard running steps and someone calling his name. Turning expecting either an attack or a fan, Sam was surprised to see RiRi running up. He paused to wait for her. She gave him a smirk before saying, “It was a pleasure to meet you too Mr. Wilson. And you should stop beating yourself up for what happened to my Dad, that’s my job, and I hate it when other people copy my work.”

Sam shook his head, this kid was something else and said, “Well, I’d hate to get on your bad side. I’ll do my best to let you do your job without my interference.” 

It got him a bright smile before she told him, “You do that Mr. Wilson.”

Suddenly, Sam felt old. Before he could come up with a snappy rejoinder, RiRi winked at him and sauntered off back towards Rhodes’ room. Sam turned to finish walking out of the facility. A smile hovering over his lips and somehow feeling lighter than he had in weeks, perhaps even hopeful.


End file.
